“Very rarely do things happen for a reason. I either give
reason to things that happen or give cause for things to happen.”
JPO
What I am trying to say here is that things happen to me in
life that I have at one point or another defined as good, bad, or indifferent
based on the impact it has had on my life. What made these things good, bad, or
indifferent is my perception of things and how I interpret them.
I believe that the human mind is designed by nature to solve
for the unknown variable, or the equation of “X”. It is evident in the oldest
forms of math, such as strategic battles to guess your opponent’s next move.
This auto-questioning is formed to fill in the blanks of ‘what happened’.
When something has happened, it is a predisposition of my
perception that will define it as good, bad, or indifferent. My predisposed
perception begins with the question, “How did that get there?” When a situation
has caught my attention, it has shocked, upset, scarred, or even scared the
shit out of me. An example is the first time I ever asked, “Why did this
happen?” My first automatic response was to fill in the blank based on what I thought
I knew, as harmless as that may seem. The event could have been something as
simple as an embarrassing moment or dealing with another kid teasing me. So
time after time, I solved for the unknown variable of “X” and established this
phantom variable as reality or truth. The real truth is that what had happened
just happened, and I took the situation as personal or literal. Even worse, I
could take it as fact.
In Part Two of my statement, I have given reason
to things that happen. In this mindset, things happen for a reason
unconsciously out of this perception of myself. I constantly recreate that
which has happened in the past. When I first solved for “X”, I did it with the
irrational thoughts and emotions of a child. With the thoughts I may have in
areas of my life (whether it is my job, wife, kids, driving a car, my business,
drinking, fighting in a war, having sex, etc.), I am still behaving at an
unconscious level and living out the behaviors and actions of this perception
of this particular self. To keep this simple (for my safety), this perception
is very linear, kind of like listening to music with only one headphone in your
ear. However, these perceptions are more-or-less layered due to the fact that
some of the other perceptions were created at different timeframes in life when
a different situation happened. These include infancy to adolescence when there
was no rational thought; a story was made up and now “X” has
been solved
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